When I unveiled my staircase at this year’s Kips Bay Decorator Showhouse New York, I presented the theme as one of transformation. The staircase was not merely a physical structure; it was a metaphorical journey: At the garden level, visitors were greeted by deep, dark hues reminiscent of a starry night. As they ascended, the colors gradually transitioned to celestial blue dusk, followed by dawn's soft, hopeful hues. By the time they reached the top floor, they were bathed in bright, invigorating white light. This progression mirrored the journey from darkness and confusion to clarity and enlightenment. What visitors may not have known, however, was just how much this staircase represented a journey of personal and professional growth for me. 

As a design professional, there's a lot of focus on client service, business management, self-marketing, and growth strategies. Balancing these aspects, even with an excellent team, can be overwhelming. Burnout is a real issue. In 2023, I reached what seemed like the pinnacle of my career: exceptional clients, significant publications, and a fantastic team, fulfilling all my dreams for the business. Yet, the years of relentless stress took their toll, leading to a moment where I couldn't even look at design materials. I found myself questioning if this was the life I wanted—a never-ending race. What was the true purpose behind all this? Was it about having more prominent clients, gaining more notoriety, or accumulating wealth? What is truly enough, and what constitutes happiness? With my basic needs met, I sought self-actualization, questioning the value of my efforts and education.

I decided to take a break for a few weeks. We paused taking on new clients while my team focused on existing projects. I went to a meditation retreat, where I delved into my inner self to uncover why design, once my passion, had become a source of stress and emptiness. This period of introspection was incredibly valuable, allowing me to strip away layers of stress and demanding work to rediscover my core motivations. It helped me reconnect with what truly matters and brought me back in touch with nature, a transformative experience.

I've since restructured my personal life and my business approach. We now accept fewer clients, ensuring they align with our philosophy that a home should be a sanctuary and a personal reflection, not just a status symbol. Meditation and mindfulness have become central to my life, and my team now shares this understanding, treating each project as a true sanctuary.

My journey continues, but this renewed perspective has helped me reconnect with my true creative self. Surprisingly, we are now drawing clients we hadn't imagined possible. Taking the time to pause and reflect makes it clear that an Instagram-worthy life is not the goal; instead, an authentic life filled with genuine joy and contentment is what truly matters. 

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We could not have brought our space to life without help from our amazing Vendors and Partners: Apollo Electric, Apriori Permanent Botanicals, Art Hangs & Installs LLC, Arteriors, B. Viz Design, Baobab Collection, Benjamin Moore Paints, Christopher William Lifestyle Technology,Cottingham, LTD Architectural Millwork Metalwork, Haberdashery, Hudson Green Craft, J.M. Szymanski Workshop & Gallery, Jean Rim/J. Nunez Gallery, LuxeDecorativo, LLC, Made Goods, Meystyle LED Wallpaper, Paul Swan Topen, RuggleUp, Shakúff - Bespoke Lighting, Silver Lining Inc.,  Solutions, Steven Dailey Studio, and Todd Merrill Studio.

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This story is from Issue 4 of The Quarterly. Click here to see the full issue.